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Very Helpful Member
Funny airline maintenance email
I'm sure a lot of you have seen this but I find it quite funny and wanted to stick it on here.
From an email I received
UPS Air Cargo
Just in case you need a laugh:
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
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P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
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P: Something loose in ****pit
S: Something tightened in ****pit
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P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
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P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
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P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
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P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
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P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
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P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
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P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
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P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
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P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
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P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
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P: Mouse in ****pit.
S: Cat installed.
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And the best one for last
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P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
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Active Member
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SpyderLovers Founder
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Yellinacha
Those were funny! I like "Aircraft handles funny" too!
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GOS member (Girls On Spyders)
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Very Active Member
Thats funny. Good thing UPS has never crahed, my windshield may be on one.
Very Happy '08 Spyder RS Owner
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Registered Users
bjt,
Thanks I needed a good laugh to start my Monday off right.
quackerz
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Registered Users
11 years in the Navy as an Aviation Maintenance Administrationman (AZ) for short, I took care of the Log book and maintenance records for the A-6E Intruder Aircraft.
One of my favorite write up was:
P - Requires superman strength to move the control stick during flight.
S - Removed kryptonite from under seat, ground checks good.
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