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 who opened the bag of stupid
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"A Wise Man Once Said, I Should Ask My Wife."
2017 Champagne Metallic RT-S SE-6 Rivco Dual Flag Holders; Slingmods Highway Pegs; (Hate Them) Airhawk Seat Cushion; Show Chrome Black Touring Rack w/ Risers & Touring Windshield; RAM X Mount For TXTAG; TackForm Phone Mount; Lidlox; Magic Mirror Mounts; Guardian Bells; WOLO "Bad Boy" Air Horn; Dual USB Power Outlet With Voltmeter; 12V outlet for misc. stuff; Spyderpops Full View Mirror Turn Signals; Large Brake Pedal; Kott Grilles; Large Mud Flap; BajaRon 3 Piece Sway Bar, Last But Not Least, Kuhmo Rear Rire, Vedrestien Fronts.
2017 RT-S , Brake pedal extender is twice the size of the stock pedal. Champagne Metallic
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I wonder how she reached adulthood! 
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Last edited by Bob Denman; 12-22-2016 at 02:58 PM.
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Very Active Member
 Originally Posted by PrairieSpyder
I wonder how she reached adulthood!
Her body did,
her mind, not so much
she qualifies for
IMG_1894.JPG
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We have the standard 6 ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically
in the entire city. To make sure this never happened to me, I got an electric fence and ran a single wire along the top of
the fence.
Actually, I got the biggest cattle charger Tractor Supply had, made for 26 miles of fence. I then used an 8 ft. long ground rod,
and drove\ it 7.5 feet into the ground. The ground rod is the key, with the more you have in the ground, the better the fence works.
One day I'm mowing the back yard with my cheapo Wal-Mart 6 hp big wheel push mower. The hot wire is broken and laying out i
n the yard. I knew for a fact that I unplugged the charger. I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down to grab it, to
throw it out of the way. It seems as though I hadn't remembered to unplug it after all.
Now I'm standing there, I've got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1.7 giga-volt fence wire in the other hand. Keep
in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover.
Time stood still.
The first thing I notice is my pecker trying to climb up the front side of my body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the
lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain. Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my
head. I was literally at one with the engine. It seems as though the fence charger and the piece of **** lawnmower were fighting
over who would control my electrical impulses.
Science says you cannot crap, pee, and vomit at the same time. I beg to differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels
emptied 3 different times in less than half of a second.. It was a Matrix kind of bowel movement, where time is creeping along
and you're all leaned back and BAM BAM BAM you just crap your pants 3 times. It seemed like there were minutes in between
but in reality it was so close together it was like exhaust pulses from a big block Chevy turning 8 grand.
At this point I'm about 30 minutes (maybe 2 seconds) into holding onto the fence wire. My hand is wrapped around the wire palm
down so I can't let go. I grew up on a farm so I know all about electric fences.....but Dad always had those pieces of **** chargers
made by International or whoever that were like 9 volts and just kinda tickled. This one I could not let go of. The 8 foot long ground
rod is now accepting signals from me through the permadamp Ark-La-Tex river bottom soil. At this point I'm thinking I'm going to
have to just man up and take it, until the lawnmower runs out of gas.
Damn!, I think, as I remember I just filled the tank! Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It has settled into a loping run
pattern as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it. Covered in poop, pee, and with my vomit on my chest I think
'Oh God please die.... Pleeeeaze die'.
But nooooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle nicely and remains there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting for the go
command from its owner's right foot.
So here I am in the middle of July, 104 degrees, 80% humidity, standing in my own backyard, begging God to kill me. God did not
take me that day.....he left me there covered in my own fluids to writhe in the misery my own stupidity had created..
I honestly don't know how I got loose from the wire...I woke up laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside me,
out of gas. It was later on in the day and I was sunburned.
There were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then another long skinny dead spot where the wire had
laid while I was on the ground still holding on to it. I assume I finally had a seizure and in the resulting thrashing had somehow
let go of the wire..
Upon waking from my electrically induced sleep I realized a few things:
1- Three of my teeth seem to have melted.
2- I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek (not the left, just the right).
3- Poop, pee, and vomit when all mixed together, do not smell as bad as you might think.
4- My left eye will not open.
5- My right eye will not close.
6- The lawnmower runs like a sumbitch now. Seriously! I think our little session cleared out some carbon fouling or something,
because it was better than new after that.
7- My nuts are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot
long.
8- I can turn on the TV in the game room by farting while thinking of the number 4 (still don't understand this???)..
That day changed my life. I now have a newfound respect for things.. I appreciate the little things more, and now I always
triple check to make sure the fence is unplugged before I mow.
The good news, is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to
him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to triple check before I mow
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Very Active Member
Wow...!!
She didn't get any smarter since the last time I saw this... guess some folks just gotta know....
Gene and Ilana De Laney
Mt. Helix, California
2012 RS sm5
2012 RS sm5 , 998cc V-Twin 106hp DIY brake and park brake Classic Black
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Very Active Member
Let's blame Russia.
Anonymous
2018 F3 Limited, BRP Driver Backrest, Spyderpops Lighted Bump Skid, Dual Spyclops Light, Mirror Turn Signals, Laser Alignment, Engine LEDs, Fog Lights With Halo's, Cushion Handgrips, BRT LEDs, and Under Lighting, Lamonster IPS, (with Clock), F4 25" Vented Windshield with Wings, Airhawk "R" Cushions. Position 4 Brake setting, Short reach Handlebars, Dash Mounted Voltmeter and 12 Volt Plug. Set of 3rd pegs. Extended Passenger Seat. Exterior BRP Connect setup, Ultimate Trailer
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Originally Posted by vided
No video on the page that opens up for me. Found it on YouTube. What a waste of time watching it.
Last edited by IdahoMtnSpyder; 12-22-2016 at 10:11 PM.
2014 Copper RTS
Tri-Axis bars, CB, BajaRon sway bar & shock adjusters, SpyderPop's Bumpskid, NBV peg brackets, LED headlights and modulator, Wolo trumpet air horns, trailer hitch, custom trailer harness, high mount turn signals, Custom Dynamics brake light, LED turn signal lights on mirrors, LED strip light for a dash light, garage door opener, LED lights in frunk, trunk, and saddlebags, RAM mounts and cradles for tablet (for GPS) and phone (for music), and Smooth Spyder belt tensioner.
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Very Active Member
What a $h!thead! 
Jim 
2013 ST-S (wife's)
2015 BMW R1200GS (mine)
1981 Yamaha XS400 Scrambler Custom (mine)
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Very Active Member
Hi vided,
Re: the bag of stupid
In the link it mentions that they think that she did not even touch the wire. They need to learn that you do not need to touch it to get shocked. Depending upon the amperage, electricity can 'jump' to you.
Jerry Baumchen
'I'll never forget what's her name.'
'Things are more like they are now than they ever have been before.' Dwight Eisenhower
2008 GS SE-5
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It looked to me like she was wearing rubber boots. That would mean there was no ground, therefore, no shock. I don't think the cow pie was planned though.
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RT-S PE#0060
the important thing is do you still have a woody
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Last edited by Bob Denman; 12-23-2016 at 12:59 PM.
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Very Active Member
who opened the bag of stupid
2013 STL SE5 BLACK CURRANT
SpyderPop's: LED bumpskid
SmoothSpyder: dualmode back rest
T r * * LED:foam grip covers, Tricrings, FenderZ,
brake light strips, wide vue mirrors
Rivico SOMA modulation brake leds
sawblade mowhalk fender accents
minispyder dash toy
Lid lox
KradelLock
Pakitrack
GENSSI ELITE LED H4 headlights
FLO (Frunk Lid Organizer)
BRP fog lights, trailer hitch
SENA 20S EVO
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Originally Posted by JimVonBaden
What a $h!thead!
If she'd been drinking we'd say she was *****-faced!
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