Door Knockers

[PCBeachBum]

There was a knock on the door this morning.

I opened it to find a young man standing there who said:

"Hello sir, I'm a Jehovah's Witness ...."

I said "Come in and sit down."

I offered him coffee and asked, "What do you want to talk about?"

He said, "Buggered if I know, I've never got this far before."

[Bob Denman]

nojoke I've actually done this...

I keep a set of Devil's Horns in the front closet... When we see these folks coming up on the front porch; I'll grab the horns, and a knife, open the door, and exclaim,
"Glad that you could make it! We're just about ready to cut the heart out of the goat!"
Those kids broke the sound barrier as they got off my property! :roflblack::roflblack::roflblack::roflblack::roflb lack::roflblack:

[Saluda]

Can't pray in school, can't say Christmas or Halloween, can't say the pledge of allegiance but all these minority nuts can come to your door and call your house 50 times and bug you with all their crap you're not the least bit interested in.

[asp125]

Dunno if it's true, haven't had the opportunity to test it out. A friend told me if you say you've been "disfellowshipped" - that means you've been excommunicated by the LDS church, they are obligated to note the address and never call.

[Gary]

do what I did some years back. go to the door in the buff, they have a no call on some houses...

[Gary]

do what I did some years back. go to the door in the buff, they have a no call on some houses...

they never have come back.in the last10 years.

[Pandy]

Pictures?:popcorn:
Patrick

[bruiser]

Many years ago in a state far far away, I was working under my car in the desert sun trying to get it done before going to work. I saw two sets of women's feet walk up. One woman said, "we want to talk to you about Jehovah". I told them I was busy, go the f away. They told me I couldn't talk to them that way. I told them again "go the f away. You really don't want to be around when I come out from under this car". Then a wrench slipped out of my hand and landed by one foot. They left. About a half hour later a car pulled up. Three guys got out. They wanted to explain to me that I insulted these women and spoke to them in a foul manner. I should apologize. I was under the hood then. I turned around and said they had about 10 seconds to get back in the car and get off of Federal property or I was going to escort them off. They thought about it, got in the car and left. See, the mobile home park I was living in was owned by the Air Force even though it was off base. Never seen or heard from them again. There are some very nice folks who live behind me. The lady is a JW. She knows not to bother me. We get along very well.

[Motorcycledave]

That don't work

QUOTE=asp125;1068082]Dunno if it's true, haven't had the opportunity to test it out. A friend told me if you say you've been "disfellowshipped" - that means you've been excommunicated by the LDS church, they are obligated to note the address and never call.[/QUOTE]

[Bob Denman]

Dave,
If they "catch" one that's been excommunicated; do they try and drag them back into the fold?? :yikes:

[Chupaca]

That would be true in my neighborhood..:roflblack::roflblack: and the mormons too... Nice bunch nontheless....

[ARtraveler]

When I moved into my neighborhood, they were on me within a week. I told them I was not interested in becoming a JW, did not agree with their beliefs, and to leave me alone.

So far, so good. :yes:

[Blue Star]

Many years ago in a state far far away, I was working under my car in the desert sun trying to get it done before going to work. I saw two sets of women's feet walk up. One woman said, "we want to talk to you about Jehovah". I told them I was busy, go the f away. They told me I couldn't talk to them that way. I told them again "go the f away. You really don't want to be around when I come out from under this car". Then a wrench slipped out of my hand and landed by one foot. They left. About a half hour later a car pulled up. Three guys got out. They wanted to explain to me that I insulted these women and spoke to them in a foul manner. I should apologize. I was under the hood then. I turned around and said they had about 10 seconds to get back in the car and get off of Federal property or I was going to escort them off. They thought about it, got in the car and left. See, the mobile home park I was living in was owned by the Air Force even though it was off base. Never seen or heard from them again. There are some very nice folks who live behind me. The lady is a JW. She knows not to bother me. We get along very well.

I had the same thing happen, but was Mormon's instead of J/W. I too was working under my car, and I too told them I was busy. They said it is okay they would like to talk to me while I worked on my car. I guess they figured they had a captive audience. I loved it, as for the next half hour I did not have to climb out from under my car when I needed another tool, as they would get it for me.

[Blue Star]

That don't work

QUOTE=asp125;1068082]Dunno if it's true, haven't had the opportunity to test it out. A friend told me if you say you've been "disfellowshipped" - that means you've been excommunicated by the LDS church, they are obligated to note the address and never call.[/QUOTE]

A Mormon friend of mine always keeps one of his "Books of Mormon" Bibles by his door. When the J/W try to give their literature to him he always says he will take it if they take his. So far he has only had one agree to the trade.

[PCBeachBum]

I was trying out a new holster with a S&W and heard a knock on the front door. I open it and this one woman started to tell me who they were and I cut her off telling her, I know who you are and wasn't interested in what your trying to sell me on. The other woman said is that a gun you have on your belt? I said yes it is and want to know, how does it look? Its a new holster and I'm trying it out for the first time. She said is it loaded? I said an unloaded gun is no good and she says we are against guns. I said well ladies do you really want to know what I'm against? I'm against people coming to my door on a Saturday morning to tell me what their beliefs are and when I'm not home, leave pamphlets, jammed in between the door and the seal, that end up blowing around my yard, that I have to pick up and if you have anything to give me, put them in the dumpster to your right and save me from doing it myself. That was 12 years ago and I haven't seen or heard from the JW's since. :clap:

[Cavman]

Many years ago I had friends that had an outside front door that was all glass. They had those folks come by several times. One day he had just gotten out of the shower and was soaking wet. The door bell rang and he knew they were at the door. So, he open the inner door and asked they want they wanted standing there buck naked. He told me they never returned. :roflblack:

[retread]

Years ago, I became involved in one of the organizations being discussed here. I stopped attending their services in less than a year, moved 4 times, the last to a different state. They found me and I told them I wanted nothing to do with them, or their beliefs. That was almost 10 years ago. I have my letter of excommunication framed.

john

[Bob Denman]

Many years ago I had friends that had an outside front door that was all glass. They had those folks come by several times. One day he had just gotten out of the shower and was soaking wet. The door bell rang and he knew they were at the door. So, he open the inner door and asked they want they wanted standing there buck naked. He told me they never returned. :roflblack:

I tried that once also... :roflblack:
Only I didn't get the response that I had hoped for... :shocked:




https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=z-CqFh7xvDQ

[SPECTACUALR SPIDERMAN]

how about trying to convert them to islam

[Grandpot]

Leaving a chaulk outline of a body with religious literature around it usually works.:yikes::yikes::yikes:

[bruiser]

Along these same lines, I use to get the people coming to the door selling Windex in an aftermarket bottle. "Sir, I would like to demonstrate this product which is helping me pay for college". look at the van they are traveling in and there's about eight of them in the van. I usually decline and shut the door. One guy was very intent on selling his product. So I told him to go to the house across the street. They just moved in and probably need some cleaning supplies. The deputy didn't appreciate being woken up after working a 12 hour shift. Haven't seen any of them since and that was a couple of years ago. BUT, comes now the guys selling meat out of a pickup truck with a freezer in the back. Or in a van marked Capital Meats. "Sir, I just finished my deliveries for the day and I have some great steaks left over and my manager said to unload them". "I can give you a killer deal". First off, "can you read?" I ask. Yes sir."What does this sign say?" "No solicitors", "Then why the hell are you knocking on my door?". "I see, you aren't interested in some nice steaks or some nice salmon filets?" "Dude, what part of this sign don't you understand?" "By the way, can I see your permit?" Haven't seen them in a month.

[bscrive]

You guys are so full of crap. nojoke

My wife is a Jehovah's Witness, has been for about 20 years, and she has heard almost every story out there. You don't have to be a d***head when they come around, or hide like I assume most of you really did. Just tell them to put you on their 'do not call list', or put up a sign that says 'no solicitation', and they won't come around. You would be lucky to know people like them. You guys make me laugh.


I did like the joke though.

[SPECTACUALR SPIDERMAN]

You guys are so full of crap. nojoke

My wife is a Jehovah's Witness, has been for about 20 years, and she has heard almost every story out there. You don't have to be a d***head when they come around, or hide like I assume most of you really did. Just tell them to put you on their 'do not call list', or put up a sign that says 'no solicitation', and they won't come around. You would be lucky to know people like them. You guys make me laugh.


I did like the joke though.

in defense, i don't care for discrimination. it is well known the the lds church only gratiously allowed in blacks 30 years ago and still
excommunicate those who are gay or defend such. i have no problem with any religion until they try to preach to me or hurt others
in the name of their god or religion.

[flaggerphil]

Are people in this thread mixing up Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons?

That's a stretch...

[IdahoMtnSpyder]

What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with Unitarian Universalist? Someone who goes around knocking on doors for no particular reason! :roflblack::roflblack:

[SPECTACUALR SPIDERMAN]

Are people in this thread mixing up Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons?

That's a stretch...

Sorry i did mix them up

[Bob Denman]

Sorry i did mix them up

Think of it this way:
The Jehovah's Witnesses, are all of the pretty young ladies that show up at your door...

And one Mormon; is married to ALL of them! :yikes:

:joke::joke::joke::joke::joke::joke::joke:

[Kwalsh]

One day I had a witness or 2 knock on the door to drop off some pamphlets and chat, I told him I was holding the door and my 80lb rotty, which one do you want me to let go of? He said have a nice day and never returned

[pegasus1300]

Think of it this way:
The Jehovah's Witnesses, are all of the pretty young ladies that show up at your door...

And one Mormon; is married to ALL of them! :yikes:

:joke::joke::joke::joke::joke::joke::joke:

No Bob he isn't married to any of them. He has one wife and is generally happy with her.