Bob Denman
02-18-2019, 05:36 PM
It had been snowing all night. So....
8:00 am I made a snowman.
8:10 am A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 am So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 am My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 am The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
8:22 am The transgender person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 am The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 am I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 am The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa.
8:40 am The Police arrive saying someone has been offended.
8:42 am The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 am The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 am TV news crew from the ABC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
9:00 am I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 am I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children are taken by social services.
9:29 am Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded.
Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just the world in which we live today and it is only getting worse.
I wonder if the Atheists would have freaked-out by the Snow Angels that I had planned to make?
8:00 am I made a snowman.
8:10 am A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 am So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 am My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 am The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
8:22 am The transgender person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 am The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 am I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 am The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa.
8:40 am The Police arrive saying someone has been offended.
8:42 am The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 am The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 am TV news crew from the ABC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
9:00 am I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 am I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children are taken by social services.
9:29 am Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded.
Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just the world in which we live today and it is only getting worse.
I wonder if the Atheists would have freaked-out by the Snow Angels that I had planned to make?