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Very Active Member
Southern cops have a way with words!
These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:
1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." (My Favorite)
4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)
6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )
13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
Happy Spyder Owner
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Registered Users
Sounds like some good words of wisdom.
2016 F3 Limited Triple Black
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Those are great. Thankfully I've never heard any of them first hand.
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Very Active Member
Good stuff right there!!
Time to clean the coffee off my keyboard-----again.
Kaos
Last edited by Lew L; 06-01-2016 at 08:43 AM.
Reason: too early
Kaos----- Gone but not forgotten.
2014 RTS in Circuit Yellow, farkle-ing addiction down to once every few months. ECU FLASH IS GREAT.
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Very Active Member
I personally like #10. Did you say all those things Joe? How about you Mike? I'll bet you guys have heard it all.
Jack
All my life I wanted to be somebody, now I realize I should have been more specific.
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Very Active Member
Really. ...
Gene and Ilana De Laney
Mt. Helix, California
2012 RS sm5
2012 RS sm5 , 998cc V-Twin 106hp DIY brake and park brake Classic Black
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Very Active Member
This is what I actually said to a guy at a traffic stop after he told me he knew the Mayor, "So, YOU know the Mayor? Well, he's been having sex with my sister. They have been married over 30 years." He just mailed in the fine, never came to court.
2011 RTS (Sold to a very nice lady)
1998 Honda Valkyrie
2006 Mustang GT. Varooooom!
US Navy Veteran
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Experience is recognizing the same mistake every time you make it!
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Very Active Member
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But Joe...
If you had stopped Patti for speeding; I'll bet that you would have let her go!
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Very Active Member
A couple of years ago, my wife was pulled over for speeding in on of our nearby towns. The officer who stopped her was a young rookie, and was riding with an older Sargent supervisor. after taking her info, he walked back to the cruiser, which was parked right behind her car. After a couple of minutes, she heard the rookie say to the Sargent, "But sir, it would be like giving a ticket to my mom". She could hear the Sargent laughing, the rookie came back and gave her a verbal warning. I thought it was pretty funny, but when she gave me the stink eye, I clammed up. I know my place in the pecking order.
"A Wise Man Once Said, I Should Ask My Wife."
2017 Champagne Metallic RT-S SE-6 Rivco Dual Flag Holders; Slingmods Highway Pegs; (Hate Them) Airhawk Seat Cushion; Show Chrome Black Touring Rack w/ Risers & Touring Windshield; RAM X Mount For TXTAG; TackForm Phone Mount; Lidlox; Magic Mirror Mounts; Guardian Bells; WOLO "Bad Boy" Air Horn; Dual USB Power Outlet With Voltmeter; 12V outlet for misc. stuff; Spyderpops Full View Mirror Turn Signals; Large Brake Pedal; Kott Grilles; Large Mud Flap; BajaRon 3 Piece Sway Bar, Last But Not Least, Kuhmo Rear Rire, Vedrestien Fronts.
2017 RT-S , Brake pedal extender is twice the size of the stock pedal. Champagne Metallic
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Very Active Member
2018 F3 Limited, BRP Driver Backrest, Spyderpops Lighted Bump Skid, Dual Spyclops Light, Mirror Turn Signals, Laser Alignment, Engine LEDs, Fog Lights With Halo's, Cushion Handgrips, BRT LEDs, and Under Lighting, Lamonster IPS, (with Clock), F4 25" Vented Windshield with Wings, Airhawk "R" Cushions. Position 4 Brake setting, Short reach Handlebars, Dash Mounted Voltmeter and 12 Volt Plug. Set of 3rd pegs. Extended Passenger Seat. Exterior BRP Connect setup, Ultimate Trailer
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Very Active Member
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Very Active Member
the best line i ever used was when i made a right on red that i wasn't allowed, cop pulled me over & i told him
i was heading home had to take a poop. i was 2 min. away, so i told him if he is going to write me a ticket i am
going in the bushes 20 feet from where we pulled over. he looked at my license i suppose to see the address then
let me go.
p.s. YES i made it home in time.
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Very Active Member
Quick story.
Speed limit 25, little old lady that lived in town and was well known for bringing cookies etc to us at the police station, and always driving proper, one day she is running about 50 MPH, i figured something was wrong, i blue lighted her and pulled her over, walked up to her and said Miss ****** is everything alright, she responded yes dear but i am late for a beauty appointment, see you later, and she put the car in gear and proceeded to speed away. I made sure no one was watching me and i turned off the lights and went in the opposite direction.
Cruzr Joe
2018 F3 Limited, BRP Driver Backrest, Spyderpops Lighted Bump Skid, Dual Spyclops Light, Mirror Turn Signals, Laser Alignment, Engine LEDs, Fog Lights With Halo's, Cushion Handgrips, BRT LEDs, and Under Lighting, Lamonster IPS, (with Clock), F4 25" Vented Windshield with Wings, Airhawk "R" Cushions. Position 4 Brake setting, Short reach Handlebars, Dash Mounted Voltmeter and 12 Volt Plug. Set of 3rd pegs. Extended Passenger Seat. Exterior BRP Connect setup, Ultimate Trailer
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