This worth a Re-Print

[Bob Denman]

I got this out of here a while back; perhaps some of the newer members in here might find something useful in all of it...


IF YOU'RE A MAN OVER 45 AND WANT TO BUY YOUR FIRST MOTORCYCLE... DON'T - Because you will be buying it for all the wrong reasons.
Mid-life crisis. Stuck in middle management. Hair gone. E.D. Besides, why spend $20,000 on something you're just going to clean and stare
at and maybe ride to the bar weather permitting. Eventually your new fad will fade quicker than that box of premium cigars you pretend to like.
So do everyone a favor and accept your former life. Tee times start at 8:30.
SOMETIMES THE LONE WOLF IS JUST ANOTHER SHEEP IN THE FLOCK - Especially if you only ride tavern-to-tavern on ultra-conformist
chrome displays in full poser-pirate regalia including "BITCH FELL OFF" t-shirts, fingerless gloves and (only if mandated by law) a proper
beanie helmet. For a group of "rugged individualists" you're goofier than a bunch of Shriners.

BIKERS ARE NOT AN OPPRESSED MINORITY - The "us" versus "them" attitude is so last century. Your hair (shaggy or shaved), tattoos and
chain wallets haven't scared anyone for a long time. The eye rolling you attract from folks and real motorcyclists have more to do with your
pathetic herd mentality than the need to discriminate. Part of which is your inane desire to feel the world doesn't understand you. The biker
t-shirts say, "If you have to ask you wouldn't understand." Well, nobody's asking. And no society is out to get you. So give up the glamour of
being a second class citizen and accept that you and your lives are at best average or slightly below.
IF YOU RIDE WITHOUT A HELMET PRE-PAY YOUR BURIAL COSTS - Rather than debate helmet laws, hospital and insurance rates let's cut to
the tombstone. It costs money to put these jokers in the ground. So rather than burden families and society with the inevitable "let those who
ride decide" if it's going to be granite or bronze. And have them open their checkbooks before they open their brains out on the highway.

LOUD PIPES JUST ANNOY PEOPLE - All that noise directed rearward doesn't help in the most common dangerous conflict where an
oncoming car turns in front of you. If you really want to save lives, turn to a brighter jacket and helmet color with reflectives proven to do the
job. Or install a louder horn. Otherwise, stick your ground pounders where the valves don't shine.

IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT THEY CAN'T SEE YOU - Especially if you ride a matte black motorcycle decked out in matte black helmet, matte black
jacket, et al. Reflective vests, belts, stick-on squares and brighter colors can do alot to keep you from looking like your own shadow. How
much visibility is sufficient? Enough to allow your widow's lawyer to say in court, "There's no way the ******* didn't see him."

IF YOU DON'T RIDE IN THE RAIN YOU DON'T REALLY RIDE - No one is suggesting heading straight toward the monsoon. But if you're
exclusively a fair weather rider it's just too impractical to have you on the road. Your inexperience and apprehension are to put it mildly,
dangerous. And while Mother Nature is unpredictable, experience, skill and proper gear are what gets you through. Limiting your riding to
only the perfect day is just a step away from hardly riding and soon not riding at all. Maybe the best idea for some.

GROUP RIDING IS ALOT LIKE DUCK HUNTING - Eventually some doofus does something that either kills you or the dog. Group riding with
people who don't maintain their bikes, don't ride within their skills and don't wear ATGATT (all the gear all the time) means you'll likely end
up helping them work on their bike alongside the road or sitting around interminable hours in a hospital waiting room. At least with duck
hunting there's the possibility of a decent entree at the end of the day.
STOP WITH ALL THE WAVING ALREADY - As sure as the first day of Spring when every bozo has their bike out it starts. The Wave. People with
whom we only share the same transportation choice feel the need to mutually acknowledge each other like a bunch of prom queens. It used
to be the only reason for an errant hand gesture was the warning of a dead skunk or worse. Like the last scene in Easy Rider when Dennis
Hopper gets blown away for flipping off the redneck in the pick-up. A Wave gone wrong. Still the Wavers assume we're all long-lost brothers.
Weekend chrome polishers all cruising toward us in dire need of validation. Okay, we admit it. We see you. We're happy for you. Just keep
your hands down and eyes up. And if you feel the urge to wave, save it for the next redneck in a pick-up. And let's hope for the best.

YOU DON'T NEED GPS ON A 60 MILE ROUNDTRIP - Tom Hanks got back to earth from the friggin moon (Apollo 13) with only a pencil and a
slide-rule. While it's great to able to coordinate your position on the planet in relation to Pluto it's nice to know maps are still available at most
gas stops. Or how about the pure adventure of traveling without a destination? Besides, if all Tom Hanks had was a GPS he'd still be on that
friggin island (Castaway).

STOP TRYING TO RESURRECT DEAD MARQUEES - Paying over $18 million for the intellectual rights to a motorcycle name from fifty years
ago doesn't guarantee that brand will ever fly off the dealer's floorplan. It might be good business to ride the wave of aging boomer bikers
before they trade-in their two wheels for wheelchairs. But if the only reason to buy the bike is the re-hashed logo on the gas tank, the time it
takes for all that retro to go Chapter 11 can be clocked with an egg timer proving once again that late great motorcycles are best relegated to
people's fond memories. UPDATE - Indian is back with a new manufacturer (Polaris Victory) for a fourth go round in the last ten years. There's
never an egg timer around when you need one.
LET'S HAVE MORE REAL WORLD M-CLASS LICENSING - The current M-class licensing fails to take into consideration many riders'
limitations. Some new classifications might include:?
M-NR - cannot ride in the rain?
M-60 - cannot ride during ambient temperatures below 60F degrees?
M-TRL - can only ride within 5 miles from nearest trailer?
M-BAR - can only ride to and from a cold beer?
M-DONOR - cannot wear a helmet except certified novelty beanie?
M-CLEAN - can only clean motorcycle, no riding permitted

[MidLifeCrisis]

Yikes! I think I chose the wrong screen name!

[rlynchtx]

Methinks thou dost protest too much

[ARtraveler]

That was really good Bob So many words of wisdom and so little time to absorb it.

[PrairieSpyder]

I got this out of here a while back; perhaps some of the newer members in here might find something useful in all of it...
. . . .
SOMETIMES THE LONE WOLF IS JUST ANOTHER SHEEP IN THE FLOCK - Especially if you only ride tavern-to-tavern on ultra-conformist
chrome displays in full poser-pirate regalia including "BITCH FELL OFF" t-shirts, fingerless gloves and (only if mandated by law) a proper
beanie helmet. For a group of "rugged individualists" you're goofier than a bunch of Shriners.

BIKERS ARE NOT AN OPPRESSED MINORITY - The "us" versus "them" attitude is so last century. Your hair (shaggy or shaved), tattoos and
chain wallets haven't scared anyone for a long time. The eye rolling you attract from folks and real motorcyclists have more to do with your
pathetic herd mentality than the need to discriminate. Part of which is your inane desire to feel the world doesn't understand you. The biker
t-shirts say, "If you have to ask you wouldn't understand." Well, nobody's asking. And no society is out to get you. So give up the glamour of
being a second class citizen and accept that you and your lives are at best average or slightly below.
. . . .

"What are you rebelling against?"

"Whatta ya got?"

[Bob Denman]

VERY nice!

[IGETAROUND]

Thanks for posting that Bob, tongue in cheek but oh so appropiate

[bruiser]

Let the war of words begin.

Personally, I like it. Hits the proverbial nail on the head.

[SpyderAnn01]

[Chupaca]

didn't see it the first time so thanks...when is my mid life crisis over...?? Considering I refuse to act my age, never..!!

[Bob Denman]

Let the war of words begin.

Personally, I like it. Hits the proverbial nail on the head.

But Jim...
It's "Not about the nail"...

[OldCowboy]

I love it Bob! I used to love reading used Harley ads. Something like, "2010 Electra Glide Ultra. $5000 in extra bling. Only 1700 miles. Never been rained on, never been dropped. $24,000, firm." (Note: That's $2000 more than new)

I never understood why someone would spend $20,000+ on a garage queen. By the time my Road Glide was 3 years old, it had 24,000 miles, had been dropped, and had been ridden in the rain several times. Unfortunately, I had to sell my sweetie due to health reasons but hope to get a Spyder before the summer is over.

[Bob Denman]

Nothing is more valuable to a seller; than what it is that they're selling...
And nothing is more worthless to a prospective buyer, than the very same item while eyeballing the seller on the front porch!

[Showie]

Thanks for the redo

[crossbowme]

I can't remember exactly how it goes but I read something one time that said: a mid life crisis is buying a loud $30,000 motorcycle you don't know how to drive or can afford, riding with dozens of others just like you, dressed all the same, so you all can drive around the Dairy Queen and impress the teenage waitresses, while the wives wait at home!

[rojodawg]

Told the wife that to help with my mid-life crisis, I felt I needed to ride something different for a change.


Quickly explained that I meant a not anything else (as I ducked and ran out the back door)


Gotta work on choosing my words more carefully, especially when talking with the boss!

[JCSMOKE]

Bob, how many of those do I have to tick off on my bingo card before I should start crying? Crap bingo card is full!

[pro10is]

Good stuff.

[Bob Denman]

Middle-aged crisis... Reminds me of an incident that occurred when I was younger...
An older Cousin of mine and his on-again, off-again; parttime Wife came over for a vist...
He mentioned that he was looking at a used corvette...
The Wife offers this up:
"If you buy that piece of car; I'm getting a Boob-job!"
A Month later; they're back in this old Mid-Seventies convertible 'Vette...
As she "grumbles" her way up out of the car; in my most sincere tone of voice I said:
"Nice ****"
She left him again; a Month later...

[PrairieSpyder]

Middle-aged crisis... Reminds me of an incident that occurred when I was younger...
An older Cousin of mine and his on-again, off-again; parttime Wife came over for a vist...
He mentioned that he was looking at a used corvette...
The Wife offers this up:
"If you buy that piece of car; I'm getting a Boob-job!"
A Month later; they're back in this old Mid-Seventies convertible 'Vette...
As she "grumbles" her way up out of the car; in my most sincere tone of voice I said:
"Nice ****"
She left him again; a Month later...

[Dan McNally]

I'm 65 . . . I just bought a Spyder last month because I missed riding . . . and haven't been able to afford to do so since I was a young man, for many reasons . . . spending money on a "toy" for me when I had kids to support was not going to happen. My "mid-life crisis" never happened . . . I have always been comfortable in my skin. As for riding in the rain . . . its a choice. I've done it when I was caught in it, but have lost too many friends, through the years on bikes that cars "didn't see" to add reduce visibility to the mix, intentionally. GPS? Damn glad I have it . . . it rides in the trunk while I ride, aimlessly . . . and comes out if I come to the conclusion that have no effing idea where I am, when I decide to head home . . . getting "temporarily confused" is easy while turning on whims in rural West Virginia for hours - especially if you are 65. As for driving from bar to bar . . . I stopped drinking and driving in my late 20's, when I finally grew up. Someone who has been riding for 30 years doesn't own anymore of the road than I do . . . and if you don't like the fact that I ride . . . that's just too effing bad for you, because I don't give a crap about it. If my post is found to be offensive to anyone, feel free to throw me out of the forum . . . but you won't stop me from riding my Spyder on nice days . . . so get over your hang-ups as to who you think should and shouldn't ride.