I think all sports fans will get a kick out of this letter written to the Chicago Tribune.... Enjoy !
No matter which side you are on in the matter of renaming the Washington Redskins, this is funny. Here is an e-mail sent to Clarence Page of the Chicago Tribune after an article he published concerning a name change for the Washington Redskins.
Dear Mr. Page: I agree with our Native American population. I am highly insulted by the racially charged name of the Washington Redskins. One might argue that to name a professional football team after Native Americans would exalt them as fine warriors, but nay, nay. We must be careful not to offend, and in the spirit of political correctness and courtesy, we must move forward.
Let's ditch the Kansas City Chiefs, the Atlanta Braves and the Cleveland Indians. If your shorts are in a wad because of the reference the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need to get rid of the Cleveland Browns.
The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of militant Blacks from the 60's alive. Gone. It's offensive to us white folk.
The New York Yankees offend the Southern population. Do you see a team named for the Confederacy? No! There is no room for any reference to that tragic war that cost this country so many young men's lives.
I am also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion among our sports team names. Totally inappropriate to have the New Orleans Saints, the Los Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres.
Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and pillaged. We are talking about the horrible Oakland Raiders, the Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Pittsburgh Pirates! Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to our children. The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible fighting or even spending habits. Wrong message to our children.
The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity, a growing childhood epidemic. Wrong message to our children.
The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates. Wrong message to our children.
The Milwaukee Brewers. Well that goes without saying. Wrong message to our children.
So, there you go. We need to support any legislation that comes out to rectify this travesty, because the government will likely become involved with this issue, as they should. Just the kind of thing the do- nothing Congress loves.
As a diehard Oregon State fan, my wife and I, with all of this in mind, suggest it might also make some sense to change the name of the Oregon State women's athletic teams to something other than "the Beavers (especially when they play Southern California . Do we really want the Trojans sticking it to the Beavers???)
I always love your articles and I generally agree with them. As for the Redskins name I would suggest they change the name to the "Foreskins" to better represent their community, paying tribute to the dick heads in Congress. Sent from my iPad
An old Marine Pilot sat down at the bar, still wearing his old USMC flight suit and leather jacket and ordered a beer.
As he sat sipping his beer, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'
He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying planes, first Stearmans, then the early Grummans... flew a Wildcat and Corsair in WWII, and later in the Korean conflict, Banshees and Cougars. I've taught more than 260 people to fly and given rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot, and you, what are you?
She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked: "are you a real pilot?"
He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.
Jerry Baumchen
'I'll never forget what's her name.'
'Things are more like they are now than they ever have been before.' Dwight Eisenhower
A 76 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?"
"There's something wrong with my d*ck", he replied.
The Receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.
The Receptionist replied, "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something, then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private."
The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone."
The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"
"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, sir?"
"I can't p*ss out of it!" he replied. The waiting room erupted in laughter.
Jerry Baumchen
'I'll never forget what's her name.'
'Things are more like they are now than they ever have been before.' Dwight Eisenhower
DO NOT look at my previous post, if you are unsettled by the thought of lovely young ladies...
You love to push it to the edge while courting censorship, don't you?
2014 Copper RTS
Tri-Axis bars, CB, BajaRon sway bar & shock adjusters, SpyderPop's Bumpskid, NBV peg brackets, LED headlights and modulator, Wolo trumpet air horns, trailer hitch, custom trailer harness, high mount turn signals, Custom Dynamics brake light, LED turn signal lights on mirrors, LED strip light for a dash light, garage door opener, LED lights in frunk, trunk, and saddlebags, RAM mounts and cradles for tablet (for GPS) and phone (for music), and Smooth Spyder belt tensioner.
That one IS a bit closer to the edge than I originally thought...
Here's one a bit tamer!
Retired guy goes to the Doc an asks for a prescription for Viagra. Doc tells him to take one about an hour before he wants action, that it will last only about 4 hours, and don't take another one for 24 hours. A few days later he decides this would be great time to use one so he pops one. A few minutes later his wife, who is still actively employed, calls and tells him, "Dear, there has been a huge accident downtown and traffic is all messed up solid. I won't be home for about 5 or 6 hours."
"Great, he thinks. Ten bucks wasted!" So he calls the Doc and asks what he should do.
"Is there anyone around you can get it on with, like maybe a neighbor lady?"
"I tried that once and she about killed me she so was so insulted!"
"How about a housekeeper. Do you have one?"
"Well Doc, the thing is, with the housekeeper I don't need Viagra!"
2014 Copper RTS
Tri-Axis bars, CB, BajaRon sway bar & shock adjusters, SpyderPop's Bumpskid, NBV peg brackets, LED headlights and modulator, Wolo trumpet air horns, trailer hitch, custom trailer harness, high mount turn signals, Custom Dynamics brake light, LED turn signal lights on mirrors, LED strip light for a dash light, garage door opener, LED lights in frunk, trunk, and saddlebags, RAM mounts and cradles for tablet (for GPS) and phone (for music), and Smooth Spyder belt tensioner.
Ever since this person was a child, he always had a fear of someone
under his bed at night.
So he went to a shrink and told him: “I've got
problems. Every time I go
to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm
scared. I think I'm going crazy.”
“Just put yourself in my hands
for one year, said the shrink. Come talk
to me three times a week and we
should be able to get rid of those fears.”
“How much do you charge?”
“Eighty dollars per visit,” replied the doctor.
“I'll sleep on it,” he said.
Six months later the doctor met him on the street. “Why didn't you come
to see me about those fears you were having?”
He asked.
“Well, Eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year,
is $12,480.00. A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have
saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup truck.”
“Is that so?” With a bit of an attitude the shrink said, “and
how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?”
“He told me to cut the
legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now.”
A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her were 200 women walking single file.
The woman couldn't stand the curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
The woman replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my husband."
"What happened to him?" The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."
She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Go to the end of the line!"
Jerry Baumchen
'I'll never forget what's her name.'
'Things are more like they are now than they ever have been before.' Dwight Eisenhower
Bert, at 80 years old, always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"
Margaret at age 75, looked him over and replied, "Nope."
Frustrated as all get out, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the new boots. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW???"
Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan response, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."
Furious, Bert yells out, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"
"Nope. Not a clue", she replied.
"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"
Without missing a beat old Margaret replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat."
2014 Copper RTS
Tri-Axis bars, CB, BajaRon sway bar & shock adjusters, SpyderPop's Bumpskid, NBV peg brackets, LED headlights and modulator, Wolo trumpet air horns, trailer hitch, custom trailer harness, high mount turn signals, Custom Dynamics brake light, LED turn signal lights on mirrors, LED strip light for a dash light, garage door opener, LED lights in frunk, trunk, and saddlebags, RAM mounts and cradles for tablet (for GPS) and phone (for music), and Smooth Spyder belt tensioner.
Letter to editor of Chicago Tribune
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Originally Posted by Bob Denman
