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06-07-2018, 03:31 PM
#3826
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06-07-2018, 09:15 PM
#3827
Very Active Member
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06-07-2018, 11:04 PM
#3828
Very Active Member
Originally Posted by vided
My wife was telling a neighbor lady years ago about a boy and girl set of twins she was baby sitting. The neighbor asked, "Are they identical twins?"
2014 Copper RTS
Tri-Axis bars, CB, BajaRon sway bar & shock adjusters, SpyderPop's Bumpskid, NBV peg brackets, LED headlights and modulator, Wolo trumpet air horns, trailer hitch, custom trailer harness, high mount turn signals, Custom Dynamics brake light, LED turn signal lights on mirrors, LED strip light for a dash light, garage door opener, LED lights in frunk, trunk, and saddlebags, RAM mounts and cradles for tablet (for GPS) and phone (for music), and Smooth Spyder belt tensioner.
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06-08-2018, 07:47 AM
#3829
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06-08-2018, 08:25 AM
#3830
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06-08-2018, 10:46 AM
#3831
An interesting fish story.
The rain had stopped and there was a large puddle just outside the door to the American Legion hall.
A rumpled old Navy Chief was standing near the edge with a fishing line in the puddle. A curious young Marine fighter pilot came over to him and asked what he was doing.
"Fishing," the old Chief simply said. "Poor old chief," the Marine officer thought to himself and invited the old Navy Chief into the bar for a drink.
As he felt he should start a conversation while they were sipping their spirits, the young jet pilot winked at another pilot and asked the Chief, "How many have you caught today?"
"You're number 14," the old Chief answered, taking another sip from his double shot of 12-year-old Scotch, "2 Air Force, 3 Army and 9 Marines."
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06-08-2018, 04:42 PM
#3832
I was sitting at a long stop light yesterday, thinking about what I
could do to keep busy during retirement, minding my own business and patiently waiting for the light to turn green, even though there was no on-coming traffic.
An old Nissan full of bearded, young, loud Muslims, shouting anti-American
slogans, with a half-burned American Flag duct-taped on the trunk of their
car and a “Remember 9-11” slogan spray painted on the side, stopped next
to me.
Suddenly they yelled, "Allah Akbar! Praise Allah! Death to America”
and took off before the light changed. Out of nowhere an 18-wheeler truck
came speeding through the intersection and ran directly over their car,
crushing it completely and killing everyone in it.
For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself,
" Man!.....that could have been me!”
So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a truck driver!
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06-09-2018, 05:55 AM
#3833
Originally Posted by Bob Denman
I was sitting at a long stop light yesterday, thinking about what I
could do to keep busy during retirement, minding my own business and patiently waiting for the light to turn green, even though there was no on-coming traffic.
An old Nissan full of bearded, young, loud Muslims, shouting anti-American
slogans, with a half-burned American Flag duct-taped on the trunk of their
car and a “Remember 9-11” slogan spray painted on the side, stopped next
to me.
Suddenly they yelled, "Allah Akbar! Praise Allah! Death to America”
and took off before the light changed. Out of nowhere an 18-wheeler truck
came speeding through the intersection and ran directly over their car,
crushing it completely and killing everyone in it.
For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself,
" Man!.....that could have been me!”
So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a truck driver!
That ain't politically correct! Naughty, Naughty
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06-09-2018, 09:23 AM
#3834
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06-09-2018, 05:49 PM
#3835
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06-10-2018, 06:25 AM
#3836
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06-10-2018, 07:17 AM
#3837
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06-10-2018, 09:17 AM
#3838
Very Active Member
Originally Posted by vided
I could make that into a pretty good drop point skinner.
Lew L
Kaos----- Gone but not forgotten.
2014 RTS in Circuit Yellow, farkle-ing addiction down to once every few months. ECU FLASH IS GREAT.
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06-10-2018, 01:43 PM
#3839
Originally Posted by Lew L
I could make that into a pretty good drop point skinner.
Lew L
I find that an ULU works well for skinning, too. ulu.jpg
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06-10-2018, 09:48 PM
#3840
A couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father.
He asked if they were interested. Both said they were very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.
But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.
The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor then checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.
At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well.
Since the pain transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife subsequently delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain and the husband continued to experience no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home they found the mailman dead on the porch.
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06-10-2018, 10:30 PM
#3841
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06-11-2018, 05:11 AM
#3842
Father’s Day is to thank Dad for nailing your mother.
Mother’s Day is to thank Mum for not swallowing you.
..............
My mates called me a tight arse. So I decided to buy them a beer to prove I'm not.
Turns out they wanted one each.
...............
My wife texted me saying, "CAN YOU PICK ME UP AT WORK? X."
I texted back, "Yes, and there's no need to shout."
She replied, "Sorry, a bus was driving past."
...............
Two blokes are in hospital,laid in beds waiting to go into theatre
One says to the other "What you in for"?
The other replies "Endoscopy"
"What's that then"? the first bloke asks.
"They'll send a camera down my throat into my stomach and look for things like ulcers or even cancers, what you in for"? replies the second bloke.
"Camera up my jacksy" says the first bloke.
"Do you mean a Colonoscopy"? says the second bloke
"Nah", says the first bloke,"The missus caught me taking pictures of the next door neighbour sunbathing nude in her back garden"
...........
Mary had a Little Lamb.
A nursery rhyme in England. A porn film in Wales.
...........
Losing your wife is hard.
Trust me, I've been trying for years.
...........
The best way to smuggle drugs is to place them up a dog's arse.
if the sniffer dog suspects, the officials'll think they're just being frisky.
...........
How to work out your twat name.
Take your first name and replace it with Piers.
Now take your surname and replace it with Morgan.
.............
I got sent out of class today at school for being too sarcastic.
The teacher yelled at me, "What would your parents say if I called them?' I replied, "Hello?"
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06-11-2018, 07:58 AM
#3843
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06-11-2018, 08:04 AM
#3844
Especially the large print.
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06-11-2018, 08:15 AM
#3845
Very Active Member
Hot Coffee And Grandaughters
On February 1st, I asked:
“What special day is it tomorrow?”
Without skipping a beat, she said, "It's U.S. Congressman's Day!"
She's smart, so I asked her "What does that mean?"
I was not ready for what she was about to say.
She replied, "U.S. Congressman's Day is when they step out of the Capital Building and see their shadow;
then we have 4 more years of B.S."
Did you know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose?
Last edited by SpyderConvert; 06-11-2018 at 08:47 AM.
2015 RTL, BajaRon Swaybar, LaMonster LED Headlights and Foglights, LaMonster Spydercuff, LaMonster LED mirror wrap, Magic Mirrors, HMT Brake Light
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06-11-2018, 08:44 AM
#3846
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06-12-2018, 09:47 AM
#3847
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06-12-2018, 10:40 AM
#3848
A friend of mine once told me that he gets all teary-eyed; when his partner makes love to him...
I thought that he was just a sissy, until I remembered that he's still in Prison!
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06-14-2018, 09:01 AM
#3849
Very Active Member
From A Greeting Card - Rude
2015 RTL, BajaRon Swaybar, LaMonster LED Headlights and Foglights, LaMonster Spydercuff, LaMonster LED mirror wrap, Magic Mirrors, HMT Brake Light
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06-15-2018, 07:27 AM
#3850
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