Missing---Joke Forum, so I'll just start a thread.

[Bob Denman]

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[Bob Denman]

Multitasking.jpg

[Bob Denman]

The Wrong Superpower.jpg

[Bob Denman]

What Is For Supper.jpg

[Bob Denman]

They Are Old.jpg

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[Pirate looks at --]

That first one is so true! The second one though....I have to admit that there are some people that are still ryding that are awfully OLD!

[Peter Aawen]

The Wrong Superpower.jpg

I resemble that!

[IdahoMtnSpyder]

May have been here before but still worth a laugh!

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[IdahoMtnSpyder]

A gentleman is getting ready to tee off on the second hole when a snappily dressed young man taps him on the shoulder.
"I see you are playing by yourself and I'm here by myself. How about we play together?"
"Well, OK. I usually play by myself but I'll play with you for a change."
As they start to tee off for the third hole the second man says, "I see we are very similar in our playing style and skill. How about we play for $5 a hole from here on?"
"Well, OK. I seldom make bets but I'll go along with you!"
At the end of the game the first gentleman starts peeling off $80 as he had lost every one of the 16 holes.
Then the young man says, "I have to admit. I'm the golf professional over there at the neighboring course. I just like to come over here occasionally and play someone for a sucker!"
"That's alright. I can forgive you. I'm a priest. Oh, how about coming to church Sunday and putting some money in the offering plate?"
"Sure, I can do that. No problem."
"And bring your Mom and Dad with you too!"
"I suppose I can. Is there some particular reason you want me to bring them?"
"Yes, so I can marry them!"

[ofdave]

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[ofdave]

Bill, an avid Spyder rider, finally agreed to marry his long-time girlfriend, even though she wasn't a biker.

One evening, after the honeymoon, Bill was working on his bike. His bride was standing there watching him. After a long period of silence, she finally spoke.

"Honey, I've been thinking, now that we're married, maybe you could sell your Spyder."

Bill was startled, and looked at her with a horrified expression on his face.

His wife asked quickly, "Oh, darling, what's wrong?"

He said, "For a minute there, you sounded just like my ex-wife."

"Ex-wife!" she yelled, "I didn't know you'd been married before!"

"I haven't," Bill said.

[Bob Denman]

And then...

Rock em Sock em.jpg

[mowin]

Bill, an avid Spyder rider, finally agreed to marry his long-time girlfriend, even though she wasn't a biker.

One evening, after the honeymoon, Bill was working on his bike. His bride was standing there watching him. After a long period of silence, she finally spoke.

"Honey, I've been thinking, now that we're married, maybe you could sell your Spyder."

Bill was startled, and looked at her with a horrified expression on his face.

His wife asked quickly, "Oh, darling, what's wrong?"

He said, "For a minute there, you sounded just like my ex-wife."

"Ex-wife!" she yelled, "I didn't know you'd been married before!"

"I haven't," Bill said.

I like the way you modified it to fit the forum.

[ofdave]

I like the way you modified it to fit the forum.

plagiarism has it's limits.
I thought it was good enough to share

[Bob Denman]

It certainly was... and will always be!

[cmbspyderrss]

A blonde woman walks into an electronics store and tells the salesman, 'I want that TV.'
Salesman replies, 'We don't sell to blondes.'
Blonde leaves and comes back later with her hair dyed brown and tells the salesman, 'I want that TV.'
Salesman replies, 'We don't sell to blondes.'
She leaves again and returns with black dyed hair, tells the salesman, 'I want that TV.'
Again, salesman replies, 'We don't sell to blondes.'
This time the blonde demands, 'How do you know I'm a blonde?!'
Salesman, 'Because that's a microwave.'

[Bob Denman]

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[Bob Denman]

E.R. Trip.jpg

[Bob Denman]

Fired Bus Driver.jpg

[Bob Denman]

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[ofdave]

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[Bob Denman]

If you attempt to rob a bank you won't have any trouble with rent/food bills for the next 10 years, whether or not you are successful.

Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?

What if my dog only brings back my ball because he thinks I like throwing it?

If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?

Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?

The letter W, in English, is called double U. Shouldn't it be called double V?

Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work.

Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.

The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims".

Intentionally losing a game of rock, paper, scissors is just as hard as trying to win.

100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.

Your future self is watching you right now through memories.

The doctors that told Stephen Hawking he had two years to live in 1953 are probably dead.

If you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to each of them.

Many animals probably need glasses, but nobody knows it.

If you rip a hole in a net, there are actually fewer holes in it than there were before.

[granpa in Cincy]

Actually 2/2/22 falls on a Wednesday

[Zip]

2/22/22 will be on a Tuesday

[Bob Denman]

Thank you!

https://www.timeanddate.com/date/wee...th=2&year=2022